Every new year we make goals and set new year’s resolutions only to let them go a few weeks later. How can you avoid this and set goals that stick ?
First of all we need to look at the past with a positive focus.
WHERE WERE YOU LAST YEAR ?
- Ask yourself: what did you accomplish last year ? What did you learn ? What did you take action on ? What was cool about last year ? If and if things didn’t go well what did you learn from that ?
The past is like a house full of stuff. Imagine the house is on fire and you only can take a suitcase with you. You would only fill it with stuff that’s useful wouldn’t you ?
- How can expand on what went well ? Carry the positivity with you , so you carry the momentum of what worked. You don’t want to take what didn’t work with you !
- Now make a “Not to do List”. Think about what ate much of your time last year which didn’t serve you. Those are the things you need to say no to this year. When you do this you create the gaps you need to have in your life so you can fill them with what does serve you.
WHERE ARE YOU NOW ?
- Be honest. All change starts with the truth. Look at different areas of you life:
- Where are you with your wealth / income ? Score yourself on a scale of 0-10
- Where are you in your relationships / intimacy / love / friendships ? Score yourself on a scale of 0-10
- Where are you with your happiness / fun / hobbies ? Score yourself on a scale of 0-10
- Where are you in your career satisfaction ? Score yourself on a scale of 0-10 ?
- Look at the areas where you have the smallest score. You want to take each area of you life to the next level but start with what needs most of your attention right now
WHAT’S YOUR MOTIVATION ?
Why do you want to improve the specific area of your life you have chosen ? Ask yourself why do you want what you want. You may simply want to raise your own personal standards or maybe you want the recognition of your peers or your family’s approval . Who do you want to pat you on the back and say “I am proud of you” ? Keep on asking yourself the question “why is this important to me” ? until you get down from the ‘head’ reasons to the ‘heart’ reasons.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ?
Goals predict the future in advance. Successful people set goals. Imagine it’s a year from now and it’s been a wonderful year, one of the very best. What has happened in the different areas of your life ?
- What is the deep core emotion you are going to feel when you’ve reached your goal ? How much will your confidence have grown ? What will be the specific emotion you will feel ? You must attach this emotion to your goal if you want it to stick. This is the fuel the car needs to reach its destination.
- What emotion will you feel if you don’t do it ? What will you feel if you give up on yourself ?
BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR OUTSIDE INFLUENCES
Outside influences can get you off track as well as back on track. Eliminate outside influences that affect your confidence. Think about all the things that can throw you off. Maybe you don’t want to share your goals with people that you know will not support you. Don’t ask people that have given up on their dreams as they will try to put you off yours. Be careful with the news. You don’t want to absorb all the negativity that is being thrown at you every day by the media, as it will make you want to play it small and just stay with what you have got.
Be inspired and motivated by people who are playing at the highest levels possible. Who are you learning from ? Who are you taking advice from ? Let it be from people who are already successful in the area that you want to improve in.
And if you cannot or do not want to let go of the negative people in your life be the change you want to see. Model the behaviour you want these people to adopt towards you. Become the person you want them to be.
BE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR GOALS
- The goal you choose needs to be specific and tangible. What is the best result of this specific goal ? what are the benefits you are going to enjoy once you achieve it ? What are 5 measurable results you will see when you have been successful ? Finish this sentence: “I will be successful when…”
- What’s the worst case scenario if you don’ take action ?
- What can go wrong along this journey and what are the challenges you can overcome ? Think about it in advance so you know what you would do if it happened.
- What are some of the first action steps you can take today or tomorrow ? When specifically are you going to take them ?
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN ?
- What are the main skills you need to learn to make this happen ?
- What support do you need ?
- What do you need to say no to ?
- What time are you setting aside for it ?
You can cry over spilt milk or focus on how to mop the milk up. If you haven’t achieved your goal so far and you let fear dictate your future as well as your past you are giving it power to win over you. Allowing your fear to win is just a habit grown out of repetition . Stop feeding it and instead start feeding a new habit of overcoming your fear with courage.
- How much has your fear cost you so far ?
- How are you allowing your fear to be stronger than you ?
- Are you going to give your fear that much power to potentially ruin your life ?
- Are you letting your fear drive you ?
OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS
Your thoughts are not who you are. You are not your thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. Thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs become your story and you become your story. When you feel you are suffering acknowledge what thoughts (judgements) are that are causing that. Envision your thoughts as words on a screen and see them scroll out and fall into nothingness. You can pick and choose the ones you want to keep.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Create accountability. What are you going to do ? What is the next checkpoint so you know you’re not slipping back ? By what date are you going to accomplish the first step ? What is the first action ? Write it down and keep yourself accountable 90 days at a time. Craft the next 90 days and anchor it with your why.